


First times

by Jellyfishwoman



Category: Free!
Genre: Cheating, Lemon, Multi, Relationship Problems, Relationship(s), Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-02-11 18:20:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2078355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jellyfishwoman/pseuds/Jellyfishwoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First love is difficult. Especially if you fall for your best friend.</p><p>Will the four swimmers be able to handle their first love?<br/>Or will they friendship break over it?<br/>Can they untangle the total chaos of their feelings?<br/>Or will it be their first bad end?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Kiss

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lovelessdiaries](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=lovelessdiaries), [mrsmikaellson](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=mrsmikaellson), [seriescharms](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=seriescharms).



> This is my first fanfiction so please forgive me...
> 
> In this there are a few characters of my own imagination (Aizawa Nanami, Asahina Saichko, Kasaki Misaki, Takeshi Mai and two nameless girls). The Sakurasou High School is based on my imagination, too. (Yes, the names aren´t self-made, but the characters are.)
> 
> The rest is based on the series Free! and Free! Eternal Summer. I do not own anything of that.
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this...

**First Kiss**

"Haru, is everything alright?"

"Sure."

Makoto knew Haruka didn´t like partys with that many people. But Harus face didn´t show any expression.

"Okay then."

Makoto smiled. He made Haruka feel save and Makoto carring so much about him made him happy. He followed him to their table. There were a lot of people in the room. It was a big "swimmingparty". Well, that´s what Gou called it. All swimmingteams of the neighbourhood were invited. Of course not all came, but still the room was crowded. Most people were sitting at the tables and were eating, but some walked around the room or stood in groups. Everyone talked and everyone laughed. It was a happy and loude atmosphere. Haruka scilendly ate and listened to Makoto and Nagisa, who were joking around. They both didn´t try to get Haruka to talk. Also Rei, who sat on Harukas other side, didn´t bother Haruka. He talked to a girl Haruka didn´t know.

 

After everyone was finished with eating the tables were carried away and music was played. Some danced now on the dancefloor (the place where the tables stood before). Nagisa and Rei did it, too. The others stood around the dancefloor in little groups and were talking. Haruka stood together with Makoto and Gou. Both were talking about a new trainig to build up new muscles.

 

Then came a group of girls. The talest and maybe oldest of them said they were the girs-swimteam of the Sakurasou Hight School. Immediatly conversations started. The girls asked a lot about the new swimmingclub of Haruka, Makoto, Nagisa and Rei. Makoto friendly answered to all the questions. A few questions were posed to Haruka, too. But he answered as short as always. After a few minutes Nagisa and Rei returned and the begann to talk to the Sakurasou girls, too. Haruka listened and maybe said one or two words.

 

Then he noticed the gaze of one of the girls. She was standing -same as him- scilently next to the others and watched him. As he looked at her she didn´t look away. Her deep green eyes faced his and she smiled. Then she started moving. Befor she was stanging between Nagisa and one of the other girls but now she walked around the little circle untile she stood next to Haruka.

"Hello" she smiled. "I am Aizawa, Nanami."

Haruka nodded. Her smile got bigger.

"And it is a pleasure to meet...?"

Haruka answered fast and made a little bow. "I am Nanase, Haruka. Please excuse my impoliteness."

She smiled again. It was an honest and beautiful smile. And even her green eyes smiled.

 

"Haru..."

Makoto touched Harukas arm a little and he turned to him.

"We want to go outside. It is more silent there. Do you want to join?"

Haruka didn´t know. He wanted to stay with Makoto like always and he didn´t want to stay with all this strangers, but he did not want to be impolite again and just leave the girl he was talking to before. He turned around to Aizawa-san and she smiled.

"Why not?"

 

So the group was splitted. Nagisa, Rei, Gou and 3 girls of the Sakurasou went to the dancefloor and Makoto and Haruka went with 3 others -Aizawa-san included- outside. Outside it really was more silent and they could breath the cold and fresh air. Here stood a few people too. Mostly to smoke. It harmed the lungs and enervated the condition but a lot swimmer smoked in spite of that.

 

To escape the smoke they walked down the street to a playground. Even here you could here the music a little.

 

Makoto sat down on a bench and immediatly the two girls sat down next to him. They had been laughing all the way and didn´t stop now. So there was no space left on the bench and Haruka stood there a little bit confused. Aizawa-san pushed him a little and pointed at the swing adverse the bench. She walked there and sat down on one swing. Haruka followed and sat on the other. He now sat directly vis-à-vis Makoto. He saw his smiling face turning left and right to talk with both of the girls. Haruka didn´t know what they were talking about and didn´t realy want to know. He just sat there and watched Makoto.

 

"Hey..."

He turned to Aizawa-san.

"You´re the vice-captain of your team, right?"

Haruka answered as short as always: "Yes."

She smiled. "Do you have to do a lot as vice-captain?"

"No. It´s only for the paperwork."

She looked on the floor. "I see."

Haruka knew it was his turn to say something, but he didn´t know what. After a few minutes he thought the conversation was over, because most of his conversation ended this way. But when he was about to turn to Makoto again she looked back at him.

"Nanase-senpai you´re in your third year, right?"

"Yes."

She smiled. "Me, too." She answered although Haruka had not asked.

She still smiled and although it was dark Haruka could see the green of her eyes. It was the same colour Makoto´s eyes had.

 

Someone harrumphed at the bench and they turned. There were sitting only two people now.

"Oh, where did Mai-chan go?" Aizawa-san asked.

"She wanted to go back to dance." Makoto answered.

Both on the bench smiled. It was again Aizawa-san saying something.

"Oh..., maybe Nanase-senpai and me should go back, too. It is very cold out here, isn´t it? And we don´t want to get ill, right Nanase-senpai?"

Haruka didn´t understand. Actually it wasn´t very cold and he wanted to stay here with Makoto. So he looked at Makoto. He nodded a little while he smiled. So Haruka should leave.

"Yes." He simply said.

The girl, who sat on the bench next to Makoto looked at him.

"I believe, we are just staying here for a little longer. Alright Nana-chan?"

Aizawa-san stood up "Sure."

She stood right next to Haruka and so he got up, too. They walked towards the music next to each other while Makoto and this girl still sat there.

 

Halfway Haruka said -more to himself than to Aizawa-san. "I don´t understand."

"I think they want to be alone for a while."

Haruka stopped and looked at Aizawa-san with wide eyes. She smiled a little and continued.

"They have been talking to each other the whole time in the room, haven´t they? Then they got out to have a little more silence and privacy. Mai-chan is Misakis best friend. They do **Everything** togther, but she left. I believe because she noticed the tension between Makoto and Misaki. And they made us notice that she left to get us going, too."

Haruka still didn´t understand. Aizawa-san smiled again.

"The two of them want to be alone. We had to go so we didn´t disturb them."

It still was dificult to understand. Why did they want to be alone? Why did they have to go? Why would Aizawa-san and he disturb them? They hadn´t said a thing.

"Look."

Aizawa-san walked a little bit around Haruka so her back was facing the playground. She pointed behind her. Haruka had to blink a little bit till he saw Makoto and Misaki (that was her name, right?). When he spot them his eyes got whide.

"You do not kiss in puplic. Especially not, if you only know each other for a few hours."

Haruka was transfixed. He couldn´t say anything. He only moved again when Aizawa-san touched his arm.

"Come, let´s keep going. We don´t want to stalk."

 

The remaining evening Haruka stood with Nagisa, Rei, Gou and 5 girls of the Sakurasou High School (with the girls who weren´t kissing Makoto right now). Everyone was getting along very well. Only Aizawa-san looked worried at Haruka sometimes. He didn´t say anything. He didn´t want to. And he didn´t want to talk about him being so silent. He didn´t want to tell he was fine. He wasn´t fine. He didn´t know why. When everyone wanted to go home Nagisa and Rei got their mobilephones and exchanged numbers with the girls. Then Aizawa-san pushed him a little and Haruka turned her way.

"Do you´ve got a mobile?"

Haruka nodded.

"Do you have it here?"

Haruka shoke his head.

"Do you know your number out of head?"

He shoke his head again.

"Well then..."

She smiled and pulled out a pen. She took Harukas hand and wrote something on it.

"Please text me. You even can ask me anything about Misaki."

Haruka nodded. He didn´t know what she was up to though.

 

After a while they left the hall. Rei, Nagisa and him. Makoto wasn´t with them. He was waiting outside though and walked home with them. He was smiling all the time while he was walking next to Haruka. But they both didn´t say anything. After they seperated from Nagisa and Rei they still walked quietly.

 

Then Makoto stopped and looked Haruka in the eye.

"Haru, is everything alright?"

Haruka did not know what he should say. He couldn´t say everything was alright. Because that would´ve been a lie and Haruka never lied to Makoto. Makoto had kissed this girl and so nothing was alright. But it didn´t seem right to be upset about this so Haruka only looked down at the floor.

"Haru?"

Makoto layed a hand at Harukas arm. It burned. Haruka looked up and he met Makotos eyes. He had to swallow.

"What is it?"

Makoto asked softly. Haruka didn´t know what to do.

"It´s nothing."

This didn´t seem to be a lie. It was nothing. It only felt so weird.

"Good."

Makoto smiled as happy as always but this time the smile hurt Haruka.

 

The last part of the way they walked again quietly and when they seperated Haruka just said "Night." and walked away. He didn´t want to be alone with Makoto. It hurt. He walked faster and faster home, till he shut the door behind him. He was out of breath.

 

When it was closed he kneeled down. What was up with him? Why was he this upset? He couldn´t find an answer. In his head was Makoto´s smiling face and the picture of Makoto kissing this girl. He started to cry. Haruka didn´t know why, but it felt right. He lay there on the floor behind the door and cryed. Till the pictures in his head went to the darkness of his sleep.


	2. First text

**First text**

"Haru, wake up.!

Someone shaked Haruka´s shoulder. He opened his eyes and saw Makoto´s face a few centimeters in front of his. Immediatly the place where Makoto touched him began to burn and he got up in a flash.

"Why are you lieing here on the floor? Why are you not in the bath tub as usual?"

Haruka couldn´t say anything.

"Is everything alright, Haru?"

"Uh... yes." was all he could say. He stood up very quickly.

"Oh... What´s that?"

Makoto took Harukas hand which immediatly caught fire.

"You did get a number!"

He smirked. Although his eyes looked a little bit sad.

"Aizawa, Nanami..."

Makoto read out the number.

"... If you have questions about Misaki."

Suddenly Makoto´s face blushed in a deep red. He swallowed and said a little bit nervous:

"Well... You should write it on a papersheet. The Chlorin in the pool will make it fade away."

Haruka nodded and went upstairs to get changed. He hurried and when he got back again Makoto looked at him surprised..

"You´re fully dressed. Don´t you want to make makrele for breakfirst first?"

Haruka shoke his head. He wanted to be as fast as possible not alone with Makoto anymore.

 

In class Haruka watched out of the window (as always) till Makoto nudjed him.

"Psst."

Haruka turned to face Makoto.

"Did you write it down yet?"

He pointed at Haruka´s hand. Haruka had to look at it first. Aizawa-san´s number was still written on it. He hadn´t, so he took a pencil and wrote name and number in his notebook. Then he turned to Makoto again to see if he was satisfied. He smiled and nodded but he seemed a little bit sad.

 

Makoto was right. While swimming Aizawa-san´s number faded. Haruka wouldn´t have cared anyway. Swimming relaxed him and he didn´t find Makoto´s presence disturbing anymore. No. It was the exact opposite. He wanted to be near Makoto. When they showered after practice he caught himself staring at Makoto and marveling his body. He really had a great body. Big, with broad shoulders. There were muscles everywhere. He was very well bronzed and that everywhere... well, almost everywhere. The place usually hidden by his trunks was an exeption.

 

Exactly when Haruka again noticed he was staring at Makoto, his thoughts were interupted by Nagisa.

"Makoto, what do you think about mixed teams?"

Makoto looked at him irritaded.

"What do you mean: mixed teams?"

"Well,... girls and boys together. Do you guys still remember the girls of Sakurasou High? The ones we met yesterday?"

Makoto blushed a little.

"Yes, sure. It was just yesterday."

"Well, the captain, Asahina Saichko, asked if we could train together. I already talked to Gou-kun and she said it would be alright with her."

"Oh, then. I actually think their nice, too. It sure will be fun to train together."

Haruka just looked at Makoto and his breast painfully tightened.

"Or does anyone is against it?"

Makoto looked Haruka direktly in the eyes but he couldn´t say anything.

"Yay!"

Nagisa jumped happily through the showers and Rei and Makoto laughed.

 

Haruka wanted to scream. He didn´t want Makoto to see this Misaki ever again. He didn´t want her to touch him or kiss him. He didn´t know why he didn´t want it. But he was for sure it was wrong if this girls trained together with them. On the way home Haruka couldn´t think about anything else. Suddenly a hand riped him out of his thoughts. Makoto had token Haruka´s hand and had turned him around. It was only a short time after they seperated from Nagisa and Rei.

"Haruka."

Haruka got frightened. Makoto never called him that. He always said Haru.

"Yes."

"You´re okay with the girl of Sakurasou High coming over for training, right?"

Haruka wanted to shout NO but because he didn´t have reasons for his feelings he tried a counter question.

"Why wouldn´t I be okay with that?"

Makoto hesitated and gave Haruka´s hand free. Haruka just now realised he was holding it until now.

"Right. They are all very nice and Aizawa gave you her number. You really have got chances."

Haruka looked at Makoto irritaded. Did Makoto really want to sed him up? Why that?

"I think she only gave it to me because we were together the whole evening."

Makoto smiled.

"Yes and why did you spend so much time together?"

Haruka knew what Makoto wanted to hear, but it wasn´t true. He had no interest in Aizawa-san and he didn´t want to show some. Why was this so important to Makoto? Haruka got angry.

"Well... Because we had to leave you and this girl alone."

Makoto blushed and ashamed looked down. This only upset Haruka more.

"What did you do the whole time anyway?"

He was shoked himself of how agressive his tone was. Makoto´s face became more red.

"Well... we did... talk a lot."

Now Haruka was fully angry. Why did Makoto lie to him? He had seen him. But he wouldn´t tell that. He couldn´t say that. So he tried it a diffrent way. He had to find out what the deal was with this girl.

"So you like her?"

Makoto looked up. They eyes met. He had a suffering look in his eyes. But he spoke diffrent to that.

"Yes, I like Misaki and I am looking forward to our shared practice."

Haruka couldn´t say anything to that. He just ended this conversation.

"Good."

Then he turned around to get going.

"Haru!"

Makoto took his arm again and turned him around again. They looked into each others eyes. Haruka couldn´t say anything and if Makoto was about to tell him how much he liked Misaki he would break down. But Makoto didn´t say anything. He just looked at Haruka. He looked at him with so much sorrow Haruka wanted to hug him. But he didn´t do it and after a while Makoto let go of Harukas hand. He walked towards their home without speaking. They didn´t say anything the whole way. And when theire paths parted Haruka looked at Makoto hopefully. Makoto just examined his shoes and mubled.

"Till tomorrow."

"Till tomorrow."

Haruka replyed and went away.

 

When he got home Haruka went upstairs and laid down on his bed. What was that? Why did Makoto came up with Aizawa-san? And WHY did he say he liked Misaki? Why that generally? What did this Misaki have? What made her special? They only had known each other for a few hours, when they... What was this? He needed answers because he noticed how he got angrier and angrier. Then Aizawa-san got to his mind.

"Please text me. You even can ask me anything about Misaki."

That was what she said. Good. Then he would ask. Haruka searched for his notebook and found the page with Aizawa-san´s name and number. He recorded her number and then started a new message.

"Hello. This is Nanase, Haruka. You told me I could ask you everything about Misaki. So: ..."

Now should follow the question. But what was the question? Why did she kiss Makoto? He doubted Aizawa-san knew the answer to that. Why does she like Makoto? That Aizawa-san wouldn´t knew either. So he dicided to write as uncomplicated and vague as possible.

"Who is she and what does she want?"

He send the message. Then he laid down on his bed. His thoughts drifting to the picture of Makoto under the shower. He really was good looking.

 

Bss, Bss. His phone got Haruka out of his dreams. It was a text of Aizawa-san:

"Hello Nanase, Haruka. It´s true. I told you I would answer all questions about Misaki. But your questions seem a little bit difficult. About the first question: Her name is Kasaki, Misaki. She lets everyone call her with her first name. She is 17 years old and in second year of High School. She has got good grates and loves swimming. She´s got two younger siblings about whom she cares a lot. Her parents work most of the time so she is staying with them. She is very friendly and because of that very popular. About your second question: I don´t think you want to now what she wants from her life but what she wants from your friend. Because he is really good looking and nice I would say: she wants to get closer to him. Did this answer all your questions? I am looking forward to our mixed training, Nanami."

 

She really had answered the questions. But Haruka didn´t feel any better.

Bss, Bss. Another message from Aizawa-san:

"I believe you don´t feel any better now, right? How about we two meet and look for the real reasons? In an hour? At your swimclub? Nanami."

 

This sounded really good. He did want to know why he felt so bad and Aizawa-san seemed to understand. So he answered quickly.

"Yes."


	3. First date

**First date**

There she sat. At the table. Waiting for him.

_God she looked exactly like a female Haruka._

Makoto knew exactly that was the reason why he made out with her in the first place. She looked like the guy he was in love with. For a year or maybe longer he loved him and couldn´t bring himselfe to confront Haru. Making out with her has been desperation. He was ashamed for himself but couldn´t deny what it was.

"Hey there."

She smiled so happy. "Thanks for coming."

Makoto had to be friendly. He had to play this. Unless he would hurt her.

"It´s a pleasure for me. Thank you for inviting me Misaki-chan."

She smiled.

"Fist let me tell you this. I´m not playing games. What happend was weird but I don´t think it was love, right?"

Makoto was caught in shook. "What?"

"You don´t love me, right? Because I am not the kind of person who falls for someone at one night."

"Well..." Makoto didn´t know what he should tell her so he choose to be truthful. "Yeah, I don´t love you."

She smiled. She really was a strange girl. So honest.

"So... You know. I think your a nice guy and I had fun at the party."

"Yeah me too."

"And I would like to try this"

"Try what."

She was so fast and confusing.

"Makoto are you currently in love with someone?"

"WHAT!"

All peopel near them looked at them. And Makoto blushed because he didn´t want anyone to know what they were talking about.

"Are you in love with someone?"

He just couldn´t lie. "Yes."

"And does she love you back?"

"I don´t think so."

"Do you think this love has a future?"

This was really hard to say out loud but Makoto knew it. "No."

"So why don´t we try?"

"What?"

"Well, I don´t love anyone and you´re in love with someone you don´t have a future with. I like you. Why don´t we try to go out and fall for each other and get together?"

This sounded so weird. He was in love with someone else. And she knew it. But it also was true that he should get over Haru and going out with someone sounded good. He didn´t need to play he was in love with her. He should just try. This was crazy. Honest. Weird. And Makoto was desperate to try it.

"Okay. Lets try it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this isn´t the way it´s supposed to and bad things are going to happen but be patient with me...


	4. First swimming together

**First swimming together**

It was three weeks after the party when the swimming teams of the Iwatobi and the Sakurasou High School had their first practice together.

Haruka had met Aizawa-san a few times and knew her so well that he was calling her Nanami now. She helped him a little. She told stories about Misaki and listened to Haruka saying strange things about the water. She even asked a lot questions about Makoto and at the end of her interrogation she always asked "How do you feel about Makoto?"

Haruka always said that he was happy he was by his side and didn´t knew why she asked so many times. But it didn´t matter. Nanami was nice.

 

Makoto and Misaki had had a few dates now. They had been at the cinema and in sea world. They even ended up making out sometimes. Makoto was happy to have a distraction like that but deeply he knew he wouldn´t fall for Misaki.

 

When th girls came it was a loud mess. Nagisa jumped all around and was proud to show his well trained body and Rei was stuttering weird scentences about the beauty of the girls. Nagisa stepped up to Haruka and greeted him with a shor. "Hi." While Mikasi huged Makoto a little too long.

Gou showed her training tactic and both teams trained following to that next to each other.

At the end of the practice they swam a relay against each other which was won by the Iwatobi boys.

 

Everyone was laughing and happily chating. Only Haruk observed Makoto sometimes and got depressed everytime Misaki was near him.

When everybody was going home he wanted to stay and the one who normally would have taking him with him - Makoto - didn´t care too much now because he went home with Misaki. Haruka hated Misaki. She was nice and funny and beautiful and a good person but he hated her. She was too close to Makoto. It was just not right!

Haruka was just flowing around in the water when suddenly a face appeared above him. "Hey." Nanami smiled. Haruka just nodded lightly to greet her too.

"Can I tell you something?"

Nod.

"You know I... I like you Haruka. I may even fall in love with you."

Nod.

"Do you want to say something to that?"

Staring.

"Haruka!"

He stood up. He didn´t know what to say.

Nanami sighed. "Haruka I like you."

Nod.

"You don´t like me too, do you."

He had to say something. "I do think you´re a nice person."

"But you don´t like me in a romantic way, right?"

"No."

Nanami smiled. She looked very sad but she smiled and then just said "Okay." and got out of the water.

Haruka laid back. He was floating again. Did that mean something? It didn´t metter.


	5. First same thought

**Fist same thought**

It was the saturday after the mixing practice when Haruka and Nanami met again. They always met at a little cafe in Haruka´s neigbourhood. He had asked her for the meeting because he knew Makoto was going out with Misaki.

The day before - Friday - Makoto and Haruka had been jogging together and talking about swimming and suddenly Makoto told Haruka he was going out with Misaki and that they were going to have a day on this Saturday.

Haruka couldn´t sleep the whole night. He was so angry and sad and confused. When Makoto told him he just said "Okay." because he didn´t knew better but it was fucking not okay.

"So you´re angry Makoto isn´t home?" Nanami asked in a calm tone.

"What? No. He doesn´t have to be home. He can go whereever he wants to."

"So you´re angry because he meets someone?"

"Yes."

"Would you be this angry if he said he was meeting Rei or Nagisa?"

Haruka thought for a while. No it wouldn´t bother him if Makoto was with any of them. It only botherd him when he was with Misaki.

"No."

Nanami smiled a little. "Is it bothering you that he is _going out_ with her."

Haruka was boiling at the inside by the tought.

"Yes."

"So you don´t want Makoto to be going out with anyone. And meet someone in a romanitc way."

This sounded so weird. He didn´t want Makoto to have a romantic relationship? But the answer was _yes_. He only didn´t like Misaki because she was special to Makoto and he didn´t want anybody to be that special to Makoto. He didn´t care if he met someone but it shouldn´t mean something.

"Yes."

"So... How do you feel about Makoto?"

What was this everytime. He felt as he always felt. "I am happy that he´s by my side. He is my best friend."

Nanami smiled as if she knew something and siped her drink. It was empty.

"Do you want to go anywhere else?" She asked suddenly.

"Anywhere else?" They never went anywhere else.

"Yeah, a diffrent place. Like where is the place you feel savest and happiest?"

 

                                               _**"The swimmingpool at our school"**_

 

Makoto replied when Misaki asked "What´s your favorit place?"

 

_So they went there._

 

 


	6. First getting hot and heavy

** First getting hot and heavy **

Makoto felt a little nervous when they climbed into the school. But it was kind of exciting, too. Misaki laughed and ran to the pool. Makoto couldn’t do anything other than follow her. She stopped directly in front of the water.

“Don’t you think water is beautiful?”

Makoto looked at her confused. Not only did she look like Haru, she said thinks like him, too.

Misaki laughed again. “What. It is!”

Now Makoto laughed, too. “Yeah, yeah your right.”

“You know, I really love water. It is so honest and so strong.”

Misaki laughed a little bit nervous. “What? Was that strange to say?”

“No, no! I really think you’re hot right now.”

Now she blushed. “What?”

Makoto blushed, too. “I think saying such things is really… hm… sexy?”

He needed a while till he had the guts to look up again.

But she smiled. With those beautiful blue eyes of her she smiled. And then she kissed him. She REALLY kissed him. Like she was hungry.

First Makoto pushed her away a little, but it only took a few seconds of those beautiful eyes to make him grab her waist and kiss her the same way she did.

After a few minutes they parted again. Both of them were breathless. “Do you want to … “

Misaki just blushed. But she looked Makoto strait in the eye and he really wanted to … So he nodded.

“So let’s find a place less public.”

Misaki took Makoto’s hand. And pulled him to the doors in the back of the pool. She tried a few doors and one swang open. It was the one to the cellar. She looked at him concerned.

“You sure?”

Makoto didn’t exactly now how to breathe anymore and so he just nodded. Misaki kissed his lips softly, then she smiled and took Makoto downstairs with her.


	7. First being hurt

**First being hurt**

Haruka and Nanami watched the water for a while when they arrived at the pool. Nanami knew and respected how much Haruka liked the water. But after a while she looked around.

“Oh. Look there’s a door open.”

Haruka sadly moved his gaze from the water to Nanami and then the door she was pointing at. He nodded. That was strange. Nanami walked to the door and Haruka followed her. It was the one to the cellar.

“Where you down there before?“ Nanami made a friendly face.

“No.”

“So, let´s go!”

She took his hand and started to walk. It was nice to feel the warmth on his hand. She walked, jumped and danced at the same time. It was beautiful to look at.

Suddenly she stopped.

“Oh… maybe we should go back.”

Haruka was confused. What was that supposed to mean? But then he registered voices. They were silent. Just whispering. But he recognized them. Slowly but straight he walked towards them. He just pulled Nanami with him. She made a worried face and Haruka felt that she didn´t want to go, but it didn´t matter. They reached the cellar room the light came out from. The door wasn´t really closed and Haruka pushed it open with his flat hand. Without any noises it moved open a little bit and the both teenagers could see into the room.

There they stood. Misaki and Makoto stood at the wall. Misaki with her back on it and Makoto in front of her pressed against her body. He had one hand on the wall and the other on Misaki´s chest massaging her breast. She had her fingers crawled in his shirt on his back. Their mouths moved hungrily over each other. Haruka could even see their tongues fighting. They were totally entangled around themselves and they didn´t seem to stop.

Misaki´s hands move down Makoto´s back and pulled up his t-shirt. When she reached the half of his muscular backside Makoto took a step back and pulled it over his head. Now his upper body was totally naked and his great aps and strong triceps were out on the air. While he threw his shirt on the floor Misaki run her hands over his broad chest.

Makoto smiled at her and took her top in his hands. She raised her arms and with only one smooth move her top lied on the floor next to Makoto´s shirt.

The backstroke swimmer touched her shoulders and started to kiss her neck. His mouse made wet noises while it wandered down. He moved his hands behind her back and pushed her closely.

The small girl had her eyes closed and her breathe came out heavy. Makoto opened her bra and pulled it down her arms slowly. His hands went back up and caressed her front. When he moved forward their mouths met again immediately and their tongues danced in their wet houses.

The breath of both of them grew louder and they began to moan a little. Makoto started to push his pelvis against her’s. And Misaki let her hands wander down his corpse and open his jeans. He did the same thing to her pants.

“Ita…” Haruka turned around. Nanami clenched her teeth and looked at their holding hands. Haruka followed her gaze and saw his nails deep in her flesh. Blood was running over her fingers and a few drops fell onto the floor. Haruka let go of her hand immediately. She took it in her other – the right one – and looked at him. Haruka stared at her hands with big, confused eyes and couldn’t move. Nanami’s impression was full of sympathy. She took Haruka’s hand with her heal one and began to walk away quickly.

Haruka stumbled behind her and then followed her silently. She took him away from the light and the aroused sounds. Up the stairs and back to the pool. She only stopped when her shoes touched the water. She turned around to look Haruka in the eyes. Haruka watched her very sad.

“I’m so sorry.”

She smiled a little. “This one?” When she hold up her injured hand a view drops of blood fell again.

“I think I should disinfect this a little. Will you help me?”

Haruka nodded. “Of course.”

Misaka started to unbutton her blouse. Haruka’s eyes widened and he stared at her. She peeled the material of her shoulders and then took of her shoes and trousers. Then she smirked.

“I almost always wear a bikini or bathing suit under my clothes.”

Actually she stood there in a green bikini. Haruka noticed how beautiful she was. She had big breasts and still was kind of slender. Her skin was very clear and seemed to be very soft. Nanami put her healthy hand under Haruka’s chin and lifted his gaze.

“I’m going to swim now and you will do that, too. That will relax you and relieve your soul.”

Haruka nodded. He just wanted to listen to what she said.

“So… where do we find bathing trunks for you now.”

She looked at him questioning. Haruka smiled a little.

“Not necessary.”

He undressed. Now Nanami made big eyes till he stood there in trunks in front of her. Then he stared at her and she began to laugh out loud. She shook her head and said:

“That’s unbelievable.”

She had a very clear laughter and it was loud and she laughed so long till Haruka had a big smile on his face, too.

“That’s perfect.”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him with her when she jumped into the pool.

When he dived into the water he felt brilliant. He still had the smile on his face and now he was surrounded by soft, freeing water. Yes it was freeing. He surfaced after a few perfect moments. He was happy. Then she saw Nanami’s face. She clinched her teeth and she had tears in her eyes.

“Nanami!”

In a second Haruka stood directly in front of her. She forced a smile.

“It’s okay. Only the chlorine burns a little bit.”

Haruka took the bleeding hand between his and weighted it with the waves. A little blood stream died in the water. Haruka touched the little cuts with his forefinger and observed where the most blood was escaped her beautiful skin. The biggest wound was under her ring finger. Haruka pressed a little at it so it would close up. Then he looked up.

“I think it should be bandage…”

His breath caught, because Nanami had a very different gaze. Her mouth was slightly opened, she breathed heavily and her eyes peered intensely in his. Intense with desire. Haruka swallowed. Slowly Nanami got closer. Her eyes went from his eyes to his lips and back again. Haruka stood still. He was a little tense. But partially he wanted to fell lips on his. He had seen Makoto. So passionate and totally intense. How he had touched, pressed and kissed. Haruka wanted to feel that. He wanted to be touched, pressed and kissed. When he had witnessed what Misaki and Makoto were doing he had been shocked and hurt. Everything in him had screamed. He had wanted them to separate. But partly he had been tense because he enjoyed the sight of a passionate Makoto. Something between his legs had wanted to see more of Makoto in action. The excitement and pain about Misaki and Makoto were pushed aside now and Haruka felt the desire from before. With anticipation he stood still. He could feel Nanami’s breath on his face.

Then Nanami stopped. She looked up a little and took a step back. She stuttered:

“I’m sorry. Excuse me. I … I am really sorry. Excuse me, please. I didn’t want to … I didn’t mean to … I’m sorry.”

Haruka was surprised. Now Nanami was a step away and excused herself for an almost kiss. But why did she apologize? Because Haruka didn’t want anything from her.

“No.”

Nanami looked up. “No?”

Haruka took a step towards her so that he stood in front of her only inches apart. He still held her hand.

“You don’t need to apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. I want it, too.”

Nanami’s eyes widened.

“You mean you wouldn’t mind if we kiss?”

Haruka smiled a bit. “I WANT us to kiss.”

Nanami smiled but just for a moment because after Haruka finished speaking he fell into her face.

He pressed his lips on hers. But he hadn’t kissed before and it felt weird and wrong. Nanami pushed a little against Haruka’s chest so their faces parted again.

“Not so strong. Try it more softly.”

She smiled. Then she leaned forward and their lips touched. Just a little. Almost they were floating above each other. Haruka breathed in Nanami’s breath. She opened her lips and he followed her movement. They parted a bit and found each other again. This time with a little more pressure and in a different angle. Nanami’s lips began to move and she sucked a little at Haruka’s. Now the desire was too big. Haruka let go of Nanami’s hand and put one hand on her back. The other one went behind her head. He pushed her head against his and griped her hair. His lips moved fast and violent. They knew now what to do. When he pushed his tongue in her mouth for the first time Nanami’s awaited it. He began to squeeze her. He walked forward because he wanted more of Nanami. He squeezed and pushed till Nanami’s back hit the pool wall. Nanami cried out a little. Haruka blenched. Nanami smiled.

“Don’t be scared. You’re just so dominant. It feels good.”

That was enough for Haruka. He leaned forward again and began a new deep kiss.


	8. First sex

**First sex**

In his head different pictures appeared. Makoto pressed on Misaki. His smile when he undressed her. Makoto kissing not only Misaki’s mouth but her body, too. Makoto’s loud breathe. And other types of pictures too. Makoto under the shower. Makoto’s smile when he carried for Haruka. Deep looks of Makoto. Makoto when … Makoto. Makoto! Haruka’s thoughts were full of Makoto.

He got hot while he was making out. After sharing a long french kiss his mouth wandered too. Over the face, the collarbone, the neck. When their lip’s met again Haruka’s hands caressed the whole body. They touched the back, the chest and pushed away the clothing. The stomach, the part between the legs. He got pushed away and looked in beautiful green eyes.

“We shouldn’t do this here.”

Haruka was confused. He couldn’t stop now. He was taken of this unbelievable heat. He wanted to fell it totally.

“Let’s go to the changing rooms. No one will see us there and then I have something for protection.”

Haruka nodded. He just wanted to continue. He followed the other body out of the water got his clothes as the other one did and walked over to the changing room.

After Haruka closed the door behind him he stood there a little lost. But soon the green eyes were looking at him again. They moved towards him.

“You really want this?”

Haruka nodded again. But his excitement grew when the distance between them got smaller. He wanted to look lips again. But the other one kneeled down, took his trunks and pushed them down. Haruka raised his legs one after another so he could get out of the bathing suit. Then a warm hand surrounded him. Haruka gasped and arched his back against the door. When the hand started to move he closed his eyes. It felt really good. Then the hands did something different. Haruka looked down and watched the hands as they pulled a condom on his dick. Then the green eyes looked at him again. Haruka kneeled down so he was closer to them. He leaned forward and started a soft kiss.

His hands reached behind the neck to open the knot there and then he opened the one behind the back. He pushed down the top and his hands rested on the waist. The kiss got deeper and wilder. Haruka leaned forward and so both of them lay down. His hands reached down and took the pants. He stopped the kiss and moved backwards on his knees to pull the pants down the legs. He watched the naked body in front of him.

“We can do it right now. I am already almost there.”

Haruka knew he had to do something but he didn’t exactly know what. Until now he had just kissed and moved his hands. He had undressed to feel more skin. But now?

The green eyes shined and a forefinger told him to get closer. He obeyed and crawled above the naked body till his head was directly over the other one. He felt a hand around him again and he looked down confused. Because the legs under him were spread his hips were between them and the hand brought him to the entrance. It was wet. Haruka looked up into two green eyes.

“Put it in Haru!”

This name sent chills over his back and he could feel all parts of his body. Every time Makoto had called him this. All this times got into Haruka’s mind. He pushed his hips forward forcefully. It was unbelievable warm and it made him go crazy. He looked into the beautiful green eyes and a breathless voice said.

“Haru!”

Over and over again. “Haru!”

Haruka took his hips back and pushed again. Again and again. He wanted to feel all of the heat. He saw these green eyes and heard “Haru!” over and over again. He quickened his pace. And leaned forward to kiss the face.


	9. First ending things

**First ending things**

They were lying on the floor and both of them came at the same time. But Makoto saw only one thing while he shook: Haru. His blue eyes were looking at him smiling.

When he collapsed over Misaki his breathing was heavy. He held the condom – which Misaki strangely had with her - and pushed out of her. He stood up and wrapped the condom into a tissue out of his trousers.

“And … Did you saw his face?”

Makoto put the tissue in his trouser pocket again.

“Yes.”

He dropped his pants again and turned around. Masaki was putting on her bra.

“I think you really love him.”

Makoto looked down.

“I’m sorry.”

Misaki stood up and bend down to her pants.

“You don’t have to be. You cannot change your feelings.”

While she got dressed she continued.

“This was really good. If you were able to love me I would totally be yours but as it is right now we shouldn’t do it again. I don’t want to be the side fuck.”

Makoto still looked at the ground and nodded. Misaki now fully dressed stepped in front of him. He had to look up.

“I’d like to be a friend of yours. You’re a good person.”

She smiled encouraging and Makoto nodded again. She kissed him on the cheek.

“Send me a text this evening when your thoughts and feelings cleared up a little. You can talk to me about everything, even Haruka.”

For a second Makoto wondered how exactly she found out that he loved Haruka – he didn’t even say that he was in love with a man - but when Misaki walked to the door he found his voice again.

“Thanks… You’re a good person. Thanks that you’re not angry with me for being so confused and doing this to you. Thanks that you like me and you want to help me get over … Haruka. Thanks for understanding we’re never going to be a couple. Thanks for wanting to be my friend. Thanks for everything. Thanks.”

Misaki smiled at him.

“This only happened because I pushed you. It was my selfishness. And understanding you and wanting to be your friend isn’t difficult. You’re a good friend. You’re honest and really nice.”

Now she looked at him more serious.

“Haruka will notice that too. Believe me.”

First Makoto was confused but then he smiled. He was thankful that Misaki tried encouraging him.

“Will you text me later?”

“I will for sure.” Makoto answered smiling.

“Good.”

She turned around and left.

Makoto stood there for a while and looked at the empty door. Misaki had handled it very well. She was nice. Then Makoto got dressed again and left the room.

When he closed the door he looked back a little confused. This was the place where he had sex for the first time. He had had sex with a really nice girl he didn’t have feelings for. He loved someone else. He loved a boy. He loved his best friend. He loved Haru. Because of Misaki he knew for sure. When he walked up the stairs he wondered if Haru was ever going to get physical. He had never said he loved someone and he wasn’t socialised that much. Haru wasn’t the type to just kiss a girl. Makoto smiled. Knowing no one got that close to Haru made him happy. He for sure wanted Haru to be happy but the thought of someone else touching Haru made him crazy. Thank goodness there was nobody in Haru’s life. Haru did spend a lot of time with Nanami though. Did Haru want something from her? Makoto’s chest hurt.

He stood outside and began to walk to the fence again to get out of the school. He should have asked Haru. But strangely they didn’t talk anymore. Haru was even more closed up than normal and Makoto had the feeling he was angry when they talked about girls. But maybe he only saw it like this because he didn’t want Haru to like someone. Because he wanted Haru to not want him date. He wanted Haru to be jealous at Misaki. Probably that was the reason why he interpreted Haru’s reactions on her this way. He should calmly speak with Haru about all of this and if Haru really didn’t like Nanami or anybody else Makoto should tell him that he loved him. He wanted to do that. He would say it and try to live with it.

Makoto looked up. He just noticed where he was. He had gone back to the swimming pool. It was Haru’s favourite place. He better should go home.

“Haru!”

Makoto turned around. Did someone just called Haru’s name?

“Haru!”

Yes, there definitely was someone calling him. Was his best friend in trouble? Makoto walked to the changing rooms where the calls were coming from.

“Ha…! Ah!”

Makoto froze. That didn’t sound like a call. More like someone moaning Haru’s name. Makoto got scared. He got scared in a different way this time. He wasn’t worried about Haru but horrified he could be in that changing room with someone. With this girl which cried out his name. He was scared and his chest tightened. But he had to open this door. He took the handle and opened the door just a gap. He didn’t have to open it any further. He saw enough to be horrified and freeze.


	10. First heartbreak

**First heartbreak**

Makoto couldn’t breathe. What he saw was frightening. Nanami was moaning again and again while Haru pushed into her again and again. Both of them were sweaty and they kissed now and then. Makoto could only see them from their head to their waist but he knew exactly what was going on. You only move this way while doing IT. Haru kissed Nanami on her neck.

“Haru!”

Her scream was full of excitement. Makoto put his hand in front of his mouth. A desire in him wanted to see more of Haru and feel more of Haru. On the other hand hurt it so much seeing Haru going so far with someone else. When they quickened their pace Makoto couldn’t take it anymore. He closed the door again and ran away.

Tears were streaming down his face. He ran and ran. He ran away to get rid of his erection and the pictures of Haru with someone else. What did he think? Did he really believe Haru liked him too? He was a man. How should Haru like him? What was wrong with him that he fell for another man. That he fell for his best friend? Why did this happen? Why couldn’t he just be friends with Haru and swim with him? Did they have to end their friendship? Did they friendship already end?

Makoto fell. He didn’t put his hands up to catch his fall. He landed on his face. His nose made a weird sound. His face burnt and he felt a warm fluid covering his face. He lay on the floor Nobody was on this little path.

Makoto lay there and cried. He cried and screamed.

“Haru!”

Again and again.

“Haru! … Haru! Haru! Haru!”

Nobody heard him. Nobody heard him scream the name of his love.


	11. First afterglow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really, really sorry I haven't written for a so long time and this is a totally short chapter, too.:(  
> But I will update again soon.

** First afterglow **

“Haru!”

Haru felt he was almost there and moved even quicker. And quicker. He raised his head and looked into these beautiful green eyes.

“Haaruuu!”

The other person already had her orgasm and the body shook. Haruka continued. Only a few pushes a blink of those beautiful green eyes.

“Makoto!”

Haruka collapsed. After his breathing got back to normal he pulled out and fell onto his back. Say lay beside each other. Him and …

No!

Haruka looked to his side frightened, when he realised what he had screamed or moaned. Nanami smiled.

“Makoto … hu?”

Haruka didn’t know what to say. He just followed Nanami with his eyes as she sat up.

“It’s alright. I knew you felt this way about him. I saw it in the way you looked at him at the swimming party. So … loving. I knew you felt that way and used it for me. I’m sorry. You just did this because you saw him with Misaki. I really knew it but I still wanted this. I did tell you. I like you and know you don’t like me this way but to fell this was amazing. You are amazing. It still hurt a little. You saw Makoto didn’t you? You did this because you had his face in mind am I right? It’s okay but I think I don’t want this again. We should be friends or acquaintances. Maybe it is difficult for you. So just call me today or tomorrow and we’ll talk. We can even talk about Makoto, if you want to. If not we can talk about something else. Okay?”

She had fully dressed herself again. Haruka nodded.

“Then you’ll call me today or tomorrow?”

Haruka sat up.

“Yeah.”

Nanami smiled. “Thanks.”

Then she left and closed the door behind her.

Haruka lay back and stared at the ceiling.

“Makoto … hu?”

 

Haruka had fallen asleep with Makoto’s face in his mind. He didn’t sleep long – maybe thirty minutes – but he felt like a different person. He pulled the condom of and put it in a tissue in his trousers. He didn’t want to put it in a trashcan here. Makoto came here. He dressed again. The trunks were still wet but that didn’t bother Haruka. Nanami had gone in her wet clothes too. Haruka felt sorry for her. He really just thought about Makoto during sex. Makoto. Haruka wanted to talk with him about everything. But he couldn’t. Makoto had Misaki.

Haruka closed the door to the changing room and walked home. If only he could do it with Makoto.


	12. First treating the wounds

** First treating the wounds **

Makoto had cried for a long time (maybe 20 minutes). When he couldn’t cry anymore he stood up and walked home. Haruka had Nanami and that was how it was going to be. Makoto wanted Haruka to walk next to him right now. They always walked together. And Makoto had run into a wrong direction so his way home was a little bit longer. Just walking together with Haruka that was all he wanted. Silently walking next to each other …

 

Haruka walked slowly. Makoto’s face was all he had in mind. How desperately he wished to hear his voice.

“Haru?”

What a beautiful sound it was. But … This sound was real. Haruka needed a long time to realise but then he turned around with happiness growing in his heart. Makoto was standing right in front of him.

But he looked terrible. His nose pointed in a different direction than usual. It was probably broken and his face was full of little wounds. Some of them were bleeding and dried blood was all over his face. So was dirt and his eyes were red and swollen.

Makoto’s look was so sad. Haruka couldn’t imagine what could have happened.

“What happened to you?”

Makoto touched his face a little confused like he didn’t know what Haru was talking about. But when he did he winced immediately because of the pain.

“We have to vet that now.”

Nanami’s hand came into Haruka’s mind and he felt guilty for not helping her.

Makoto didn’t move. He didn’t look like he agreed but he didn’t look like he disagreed either. So Haruka took his hand and pulled him with him quickly.

His hand burned painfully. Everything in him went crazy. He was angry with Makoto. He was hurt and disappointed because Makoto had Misaki on his side. He felt guilty because he hurt Nanami and also because he was unfaithful to Makoto in a way he couldn’t really describe. He was happy because he was with Makoto and sad that he couldn’t be with him as often as he wanted to from now on. That he couldn’t be with him forever. He was confused because it still hurt to be so close to Makoto also he knew his feelings now. But in a way all those feeling didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was Makoto. He was injured and Haruka had to help him regardless his feelings for him.

They reached Haruka’s house quiet quickly and Haruka opened the door and pulled Makoto inside. He let go of his hand now and the hurting burning on his hand changed into an even more painful coldness.

Haruka didn’t care. He closed the door took of his shoes and walked into the living room to get the first aid kid. When he returned Makoto stood in the exact same spot. He didn’t move at all. He looked so lost. It was so confusing. Normally Makoto was the one to act, the one to talk and Haruka just followed his actions. But now he had to act. Makoto was obviously miserable.

Haruka put down the kid and walked to Makoto. He took his shoulders and pushed him down so he sat on the step in front of the door. Haruka took of his shoes and examined his face.

“I think we should wash and disinfect it. Come.”

Haruka stood up and reached his hand. Makoto looked up and took it. Haruka leaded Makoto into the living room and put him on the floor at the table. He got a bowl with cold water and a clean towel. He kneeled down and then got up again because he forgot the first aid kid. He wet the towel and touched Makoto’s forehead carefully. Makoto winced at the touches a few times.

“I’m sorry.”

Haruka was as careful as he could. But Makoto winced and winced again. Every time Haruka apologized.

“I’m sorry … Excuse me … oh … Excuse me … I’m sorry.”

After a while Makoto’s face was clean of blood and dirt. He had a lot of deep scrapes and everything was reddened. Haruka disinfected the whole face and then lubricated it with unction. You could hear the skin sucking in the wetness. So Haruka put on a second layer. When all wounds were covered with a thin white layer Haruka observed Makoto’s nose. He touched it carefully and felt where it was broken.

“We could go to a doctor or I try to fix it.”

Makoto didn’t do anything.

“Should I try?”

Still nothing.

Haruka got scared. “Makoto!”

Makoto looked at him and after a while he nodded.

“Oke.”

Haruka fumbled around the nose again and grabbed it with two fingers. He exhaled and with a fast, strong movement he moved the bone in the right position again. It made a terrible noise. But Makoto didn’t scream, he didn’t whimper. Haruka touched everything again and it felt and looked right now. It should grow together this way. He put a different unction on the nose. It should keep it from swelling. Then he sat down.

Makoto’s face still looked mutilated and Haruka didn’t really know if everything was right with his nose.

“I think we still should go to a doctor.”

Makoto didn’t response. But he let Haruka guide him out the room. Let him put on his shoes and followed him to the hospital. They had to wait for a long time but Haruka didn’t let go of Makoto’s hand. He wanted to support him. The doctor was surprised by the deep cuts and praised Haruka’s first aid abilities. He X-rayed the nose and had to set it again. He propped it up with some patches. He also put some patches on the deeper cuts. Haruka got a different unction that should be put on in six hours. It should keep the face from getting all green and blue. Then the doctor told Haruka to not leave Makoto alone because he obviously was still shocked.

Haruka was a bit relieved when they left the hospital but he still didn’t want him to go home to his family. They would go overboard and he believed Makoto couldn’t take that right now. So he called Makoto’s mother when they were back at his place and said Makoto was staying overnight at his place. She understood and just asked if they needed anything. Haruka declined and excused Makoto not coming to the phone because he was cooking at the moment. After hanging up the phone he went back to the living room, where he left Makoto. He still sat at the exact same spot and stared into nothing.

Haruka kneeled down in front of him and looked into his eyes.

“Makoto what happened? Did Misaki do this?”


	13. First fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I know it's almost been a year and I'm terribly sorry :/
> 
> And I don't know how much more there is to come and how fast I can write it. But I will finish this fic! It's my first and it will have an end.
> 
> Maybe there aren't even any Free! fans out there anymore but if you are enjoy the rest of my work.
> 
> Again I am terribly sorry...

** First fight **

When he saw Haru everything was over. He didn’t know what he should do. He couldn’t act normal and he couldn’t just leave…  
So he just let himself be let by Haru while he was trying to figure out what to do.

His face must have looked terrible because Haru was very worried and made a big fuss about treating it. He constantly said he was sorry and then still brought him to a doctor.

The doctor had asked a lot of questions. What happened? Was he in pain?

Makoto didn’t answer. Haruka talked for him.

He took him back to his place and took care of Makoto’s family. He didn’t have to go home. Thank god. So they didn’t worry about him. But know he was alone with Haru at his place.

Haru kneeled in front of him again. Makoto still didn’t know what to do.

“Makoto….Misaki?”

Now he was listening. What did Misaki had to do with this?

“Why?”

Haruka smiled. Makoto finally spoke again.

“You were out with Misaki today, right?”

“Yes.”

How did Haru think Misaki had anything to do with this? No. Misaki was a nice human being. Makoto just fell because HE had slept with Nanami!

“Misaki has nothing to do with this. Honestly it’s your fault.”

Makoto knew he had said something wrong immediately. Haruka’s eyes widened.

“My fault?”

What did he do? Makoto had slept with Misaki and now he had this big wound and it was his fault?

“What did I even do?”

Makoto didn’t know what he should say. It really wasn’t Haru’s fault. Only his. But he couldn’t explain that. So he stayed silent.

What was this now? First he said it was his fault and now he didn’t talk again? Haruka started to shake Makoto’s shoulder a bit.

“Makoto! What did I do?”

When he shook him like that Makoto didn’t know what to do. He was so lost he got angry and slapped Haru’s hands away.

“Well you slept with Nanami!” he basically shouted.

Haru looked at him with big eyes. Makoto couldn’t stop himself now.

“I was at the pool and heard your name. I followed to the changing rooms and I saw you!”

Haru was quiet.

“You slept with Nanami!”

Haru felt terrible. Makoto did see him. But it wasn’t like he cheated on him or anything. And what did him sleeping with someone to do with Makoto’s face?

“I don’t understand.”

Makoto was so angry. And he didn’t even know why.

“What didn’t you understand? That you slept with Nanami? I think that that isn’t that hard to understand. You were inside her! You sweat and screamed and…”

What was this? Why did he talk so much about it? He didn’t want to hear anything of him and Nanami. He wanted to forget it. He wanted Makoto to stop talking about it.

“Yes!”

Makoto stopped. But know Haru was angry too.

“Yes I did have sex with Nanami! But what has that to do with your face? That I don’t get!”

He didn’t get anything. He would never get anything. Makoto was done.

“Because I love you!”


	14. First time talking

** First time talking **

Haru was silent. He just looked at him in shook. It was said. The only thing he could do is explain.

“I love you. And like really… How couples love each other. Not as a friend. I know we’re both men and we’re friends but I can’t help it. I can’t do anything about it. This feeling… it just became stronger and stronger and when I noticed I tried to get it away. And so I looked for a woman for me and I started dating Misaki. She looks and acts a lot like you… I also tried to push you away and make you unreachable by setting you up with Nanami. But that didn’t really work out as it just hurt me… because I love you Haru. I love you. Misaki and I were at the school today but she went home without me and I caught you and Nanami… It hurt so bad Haru… and I just didn’t know what to do. Before I saw you I wanted to talk to you and get it all out but when I saw you… I just ran away. I literally ran away Haru and I fell and the thing with my face happened. I’m sorry that I made you worry so much. I… I am really sorry.”

Haruka didn’t understand. Makoto loved him? But he and Misaki did… He had seen them!

“But… you and Misaki…”

“Don’t think about that. We’re just friends any… And you have Nanami.”

What? ... He had Nanami?

“No.”

Haruka was so confused.

“Nanami and I aren’t together. We just… What happened was… We wanted to go to the cellar because the door was open and we saw you and Misaki. We just …”

Makoto smiled a little.

“So we got you guys in the mood.”

No, that wasn’t it. All this was wrong.

“No, you’re wrong. I just…”

Makoto laid a hand on Haru’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s not bad when you and Nanami get together. Just do what makes you happy. I just finally told you how I felt and I feel a lot better. I’ll try not to be so jealous and to control my feelings better. I’ll manage. We can stay friends. You’ll see.”

All this was wrong! This couldn’t…

“But …”

Makoto put a hand up and Haruka kept quiet.

“Just forget it. We’ll stay friends.”

He smiled. And that seemed right. Makoto was with him and Makoto was happy. Makoto was without Misaki. Haruka eased up a little.

Makoto picked inside his pocket and blushed hard. Then he pulled out his phone.

“I told Misaki I would write her and then…”

“WHAT!! NO!!!”

Haruka didn’t want to scream that loud but Makoto just said Misaki wasn’t his girlfriend. Now he wanted to write her?

“Not Misaki…”

Makoto looked at him confused.

“Why shouldn’t I write Misaki?”

“Because… You just said you don’t want anything from her.”

Haruka was confused and desperate.

“Yes, I don’t want anything from her. I just want to…”

“No!”

He couldn’t let this happen. Somehow Haruka knew Makoto couldn’t be with Misaki in any way.

“Haru, why should I not do this?”

He looked totally lost.

“Because... because… she’ll touch you again!”

Haruka knew this sounded weird and wrong but that was his reason. Makoto still didn’t get it.

“And if she touches me?”

Haruka couldn’t stand it.

“NO! She can’t touch you. No one can. Not like that. Only I am allowed to do that!”

Makoto stared at Haruka with wide eyes. He tried to explain.

“I saw you and her at the swimmingparty and today in the cellar. And that’s not okay. She can’t touch you like that! I want to be the only one who possesses you like that.”

Makoto still seemed confused but also a little bit happy.

“But don’t you already possess Nanami’s body like that?”

“No!”

Haruka shook his head. Makoto didn’t understand.

“No. Nanami likes me and slept with me because of that but I don’t like her that way. I just slept with her because I saw you.”

Makoto was totally tense but Haruka needed to finish talking.

“You and Misaki… every time you touched it hurt me. I don’t want that someone is with you… but you looked so intense… and I want to be touched like that. I want to feel that, too. Nanami was so close to me and there were green eyes… your eyes… and it felt like you were touching me… it was nice but the whole time it was just … you… not Nanami… just you. You were in my head the whole time… I don’t know why… I don’t want to separate you and Misaki… but you … you should just belong to me… because… because only you are with me… close to me… only you.”

Makoto stared at him intensely.

“You were hurt because I touched and kissed someone romantically?”

Haruka nodded. It was the truth.

“And you saw me when you had sex with Nanami? You wanted me to touch and kiss you?”

Haruka nodded.

“You want me to be close to you. You worry about me. And you want me to be with Misaki if it makes me happy even if it hurts you?”

Haruka nodded.

Now it was right. Makoto knew that it wasn’t about Nanami and he knew that Haruka didn’t like Misaki at his side.

“Haru, were you… jealous at Misaki?”

Haruka thought about that.

“You’d like to be where she was? You’d like to feel what she felt and definitely  don’t want her to feel it?”

“Yes.”

Makoto smiled. His beautiful, beautiful smile.

“So you were jealous at Misaki?”

“Yes.”

His smile got bigger.

“Would you say you yearn for me?”

“Yes.”

That definitely was right.

“But you don’t just want to be touched and kissed. You want to walk next to me and laugh with me and swim with me and be really good friends, right?”

“Yes!”

That should be obvious.

“And you don’t want anything happening to me and you want me to be happy even if it’s not with you?”

“Of course.”

“Good.”

Makoto smiled. He seemed to get it and he seemed happy about it.

“Haru, Nagisa, Rei, and Rin are friends of you to, right? You like them,  you don’t want anything bad happening to them and you like to spend time with them.”

“Yes.”

That was an easy question but it seemed out of context.

“Would you say you like me more than Nagisa, Rei, and Rin? You only want to be touched by me. And only want to be always together with me?”

That was a weird question. But it was true. He didn’t like to be touched but when it was Makoto touching him, he wanted it… he wanted it bad. Also Nagisa, Rei, and Rin weren’t as close to him as Makoto.

“Yes.”

Yes he liked Makoto more than his other friends. Makoto smiled.

“Haru, do you love me?”

Haruka was surprised by this.

“You like me more than just a friend. You want to be with me. You have a sexual desire for me. You have a sexual desire just for me, because you didn’t care about Nagisa. You’re totally confused and only see me. Still you care for me because I am important to you. I am so important to you that you would pass on your on luck for me. You get jealous when someone else is with me. You like me. You like me a lot. We’re close. We know each other well. We get each other. We protect each other. You even saved my life. We like the same things. Everything we do together makes you happy. You like me more than a lot. You’re not just interested in me. You love me.”

“Yes.” It was true.

Makoto was happy. He smiled.

“Oh Haru!”

He hugged him tightly. Haruka didn’t quite know why but the hug felt amazing. Makoto pulled back and looked into Haruka’s eyes.

“I love you. To get rid of that feeling I started something with Misaki because I thought you didn’t love me. You love me. You saw me with Misaki and were hurt. To get rid of that you started something with Nanami because you thought I didn’t love you. I saw you with Nanami and was hurt. We love each other, Haru. We thought we didn’t and tried it with girls and hurt each other but now we’re here. Both hurt, both with history, both in love.”

Haruka nodded. Everything was true.

“Haru, are you and Nanami together?”

“No. She said we should just be friends.”

“Same for me and Misaki. It’s sad for them because they like someone and even slept with someone who doesn’t like them back but it means we’re both single. No girls to hurt the other.”

Haruka understood.

“Haru, I’m sorry I hurt you. I love you.”

Haruka nodded and finally knew what to say.

“I am sorry, too. I am sorry for the thing with Nanami and for your face and that I couldn’t talk to you. I am sorry but Makoto I am… I love you, too.”

Now both of them smiled. Makoto was his and he was Makoto’s. There was no one else and everything that happened was over. It was quite and all confusion was gone. No pain, no fear, no anxiety, no wounds. There was only luck. Both of them were happy. They hadn’t been in a long time so this was such a nice moment.

Then Makoto’s gaze got more intense. Haruka got even happier and when Makoto inched closer to Haruka he closed the gap between them till their lips met. They kissed. Both of them crying a little bit because they finally kissed…

**Author's Note:**

> So? How did I do my job?
> 
> Please review.


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